[Newsletter] 5.22.26 | “I’ve never been intoxicated on the job,”
May 21, 2026
This month was full of great examples! Thank you to everyone for sending in your favorite blunders. Keep them coming. Many in Washington were denying allegations, Honda has no chance against Chinese manufacturers, Pete Hegseth gave Samuel L. Jackson a run for this money and more. We also have plenty of good examples from the Artemis II splashdown, the owner of Dallas’ Longhorn Ballroom and pop star Sabrina Carpenter.
THE WINNING COMMENT
“I’ve never been intoxicated on the job,” was what FBI Director Kash Patel said to shut down drinking allegations. His defense also included a string of numbers (see below), comparisons and self-reported achievements. However, the comment was so memorable, it became the headline. Once again, the negative wins when you give it airtime.
Firstpost, “‘I’ve never been intoxicated on the job’: Kash Patel defends himself amid drinking allegations – Firstpost” April 22, 2026
THE RUNNERS-UP
A Texas judge sided with Community Capital Partners in a dispute over a Muslim‑centric neighborhood development, but the developer’s statement, “We have done nothing wrong,” still breaks our number one rule. Anytime you repeat the accusation, you reinforce it. A stronger message would have focused on compliance, transparency or community benefit as opposed to the negative.
The Real Deal, “Texas Judges Sides With Community Capital Partners” April 30, 2026
“We have no chance against this,” said Honda CEO Toshihiro Mibe following a visit to an electric vehicle plant in China. American car manufacturers—including GM, Ford, Stellantis and Honda (for the first time in 70 years)—sustained multibillion-dollar losses after the abrupt policy shift that eliminated the longstanding EV tax credit, and fears of Chinese competition are at an all-time high as they’re not able to keep up with the lightning-fast development times, automation and cost advantages. From an executive communications standpoint, Mibe’s comment sends a dreary message to employees, stakeholders and customers.
Yahoo! Finance, “Honda CEO says ‘we have no chance’ against Chinese automakers” April 23, 2026
ETHICS IN QUESTION
“She is not guilty of these allegations,” declared Florida Representative Sheila Cherfilus-McCormick’s lawyer in opening statements at a House Ethics Committee hearing. Charged with embezzling $5 million in federal funds, Cherfilus-McCormick was investigated by the ethics panel for over two years. And just minutes before the vote to expel her took place, she announced her resignation from Congress. Nothing says innocent like a letter of resignation… and an indictment.
Forbes Breaking News, “JUST IN: Attorney For Sheila Cherfilus-McCormick Delivers Opening Remarks In House Ethics Hearing” March 26, 2026
PBS News, “WATCH: Rep. Cherfilus-McCormick announces her resignation before House lawmakers could consider punishment” April 21, 2026
“These allegations of sexual assault are flat false,” claimed California Representative and gubernatorial frontrunner Eric Swalwell in a video on social media. Three days later, the House Ethics Committee announced its investigation, and Swalwell announced his resignation. In his letter read on the House floor, he doubled down and said, “I will fight the serious false allegation made against me. However, I must take responsibility and ownership for the mistakes I did make.” What mistakes did you make, Representative?
PBS News, “Rep. Eric Swalwell of California says he will resign from Congress after sexual assault allegations” April 13, 2026
DATA DUMP
In the must-see clip, Kash Patel continued defending himself against allegations of being intoxicated on the job by pivoting into a rapid-fire list of accomplishments and comparative metrics. The overall effect was a numbers avalanche and a misguided attempt to overwhelm the audience with statistics to shift attention away from the allegation. Patel emphasized:
- That he worked “twice as many days as every director before me”
- That he operated with “half the staff”
- That he achieved “a third of the budget”
- That he “dropped the murder rate by 20 points”
- That his team “caught 8 [terrorists]”
- That “178 million Americans” were impacted by his work
- And that he “arrested 43% more spies” than predecessors
IMITATION
When imitation goes wrong, it goes really wrong. At a Pentagon worship service, Secretary of Defense Pete Hegseth quoted almost word-for-word a violent prayer used in Quentin Tarantino’s cult classic “Pulp Fiction” that was very loosely based on a Bible passage. Tarantino may appreciate the shoutout, but the jury is out as to whether anyone else did.
Forbes, “Pete Hegseth References Bible—But Quotes Violent ‘Pulp Fiction’ Speech” April 16, 2026
HUMOR
The New York Times profiled the return of Dallas’ Longhorn Ballroom, and one quote stole the show. An unopened safe left behind by Jack Ruby sits near the VIP area.
“We know that there are some contents in there,” said owner Jay Cabaniss. “We’ve done a little X-ray. We are going to open that and have our Geraldo Rivera moment if things get dicey, but in the three years we haven’t been slow enough to need to.”
A perfect blend of self-awareness, local history and humor. And for those too young to remember the infamous Geraldo moment, check out the clip here.
The New York Times, “The Return of Dallas’ Longhorn Ballroom – The New York Times” April 21, 2026
PUTTING NUMBERS IN CONTEXT
“That’s the equivalent of traveling from LA to New York in six minutes,” reported a CBS News anchor covering the splashdown speed of the Artemis II mission. The reporter could have simply stopped after noting that the dangerous splashdown “will hit the atmosphere going 32 times the speed of sound,” but that doesn’t mean much to the average viewer. This was a great example of making data points “verbally visual,” a compelling technique we recommend to be sure numbers stick with your audience.
CBS News via TikTok April 10, 2026
APOLOGY
“I don’t like it,” said a confused Sabrina Carpenter during her recent Coachella performance, mistaking a celebratory Middle Eastern cry as a form of yodeling. It stirred up a lot of controversy on social media, and Carpenter took to X to post her apology.
“my apologies i didn’t see this person with my eyes and couldn’t hear them clearly. my reaction was pure confusion, sarcasm and not ill intended. could have handled it better! now i know what a Zaghrouta is! i welcome all cheers and yodels from here on out”
While casual, it’s a solid apology in our book—acknowledging the mistake, taking ownership and letting her fans know how she’ll handle things moving forward.
The New York Times, “Sabrina Carpenter Apologizes for Mocking Arabic Call at Coachella” April 12, 2026
“You Don’t Say” is a reminder not to repeat and deny a negative word because of how the listener hears words. When you repeat and deny a negative word, the listener is likely to overlook the denial and hear the opposite of what the speaker is trying to say.